Thursday 21 May 2015

My Superhero

Is it really that simple? Moving on? No it's absolutely not. Friends and wellwishers suggest/advise; they try to cheer you up. But if the one who's abandoned you, is your loving caring and doting father, life leaves a permanent scar on your heart and a gap that nobody can fill. If it was just one person, it would've been easier (probably). But how does one mourn the loss of a friend, guide, motivator, teacher, parent, all rolled into one?

One of the few people in the world who shower you with their unconditional and incessant love, fathers. The ones behind the scenes, overseeing every act of yours since you were born, and guiding you through every step of the way. They endure hardships, struggles but keep you protected and unaware all along. They're always there, just like shadows, the unsung heroes. 

Those of you who still are lucky enough to have them around, cherish every moment. Take time out from your busy schedules to enjoy their company. Tell them that you love them at the very first opportunity, and give them a hug. They never expect more. Never mind if either of you is shy, or feels that expressing love in the open is overrated, do it nevertheless. It will make you happy too, trust me.

For me, the affectionate touch and the protective look have ceased. Those unstoppable lectures and those never ending talks, those perennial discussions and those late night coffees, are gone forever. Those shopping excursions (I always did all my shopping with my father even as late as my 20s), those movie outings (every vacation we three siblings would catch a movie in the old South Mumbai theatres with pappa); none of these are ever coming back for me.

There is so much I can write about my father, I'm sure all of you can about yours. When it came to my dad, his persona, his personality would inspire many and influence even more. He was a born leader, a strong individual with even stronger principles, but extremely emotional. A typical Leo, and so very susceptible to hurt and anguish. Talented to the core, with an amazing memory and intellectual, and intelligence rarely seen. A brilliant orator, he could go on and on on any subject, causing great discomfort to us in our childhood :). And thanks to this skill of his which I inherited, today you read what this humble soul writes.

If God let me, I would have him around forever. Every child would echo this feeling, but he really did leave sooner than he should've. His sudden departure makes me feel clueless in more ways than one. 

He was in a lot of pain in his last few days, the one thing I wish I could change about his life. And in that condition, my decision to get back to writing was one of the rare events that brought a genuine smile to his face. He was probably the only person who was happier than I was. So here I am back after a break, for him to whom I shall ever remain indebted, tears in the eyes be damned.

PS. The 'I' in this article is more like a 'We', cos its not just me who's writing this. The words maybe mine, but the feelings are shared by my brother and sister, who will read every word with sore eyes and relate to it like nobody else.

1 comment:

Sumeet Nayak said...

No one can ever replace him. Being away at the other end of the globe made it even harder for me to come to terms with the loss. Suddenly had this void around me, no one to talk, no one to share, the feeling of being helpless and surrounded by alien people was a horrifying experience. Just when i was having my conversation with the alimighty as to why this all happened? Why was it him? Why was i kept so far away from him? And that's when someone rightfully told me that may be god wanted me to be away so i you could cope up with the loss in a better way and not be in deep pain. His loss has not only changed my outlook towards life but has given me a new motivation to dedicate my research, my PhD to him, to a man who was, is and will always remain my guiding angel.