Saturday, 30 January 2016

Faking It!





Those of you who jumped out of the bed and closed that  bedroom door, kindly get up once again to open it fellas. Nope this is not the faking of ‘that’ kind, and no there are no tips on doing or detecting it.

Fake tans? No. Fake fingernails? No. Fake eyelashes? Oh heavens, no. I’m talking of the Fakeness you and I encounter day in and day out. We either stand at the receiving end or we very blatantly do it ourselves.




“Who me, never!” Did I hear most of you say that? Well, ladies and gentlemen, wait till you read further on and then arrive at a verdict. The following is a list of instances (surely not an exhaustive one), where even the Maharathis and the Kaliyug ke Harishchandras, who very proudly proclaim that they are wary of fake people, give in, even without realising it!

I like to fake it fake it, You like to fake it fake it
She likes to fake it fake it, He likes to? Of course yaar, fake it!


‘Bai’ ki Gulaami ….

‘Maids’, ‘helpers’, ‘bais’ call them what you like. Sau baaton ki ek baat, we are the real gulaams. This one’s for the fakers from my gender. Why? Cos the opposite gender stay at an arm’s length, driven by awkwardness or fright (barring say a few Shiney Ahujas here and there). Well, men are not at fault really, cos if they don’t say the right thing, in the right tone, using the right words, they’d be in for a week of household trauma.

Coming to the point, we are more or less at the mercy of our so called helpers. And hence what ensues is no less than funny. So say, if we were to reveal our true feelings to a part-timer arriving late or a full-timer acting fussy, it would lead to a path of self-discovery. Discovering that we are well-equipped and capable of throwing abuses in multiple languages, to start with. But but, we adopt the diplomatic approach of hurling sugar coated questions and making gentle reminders for punctuality.

We fake it.


Caught You ….

You spot her from a distance, and hope that she hasn’t seen you yet. You take prompt action and change your route, there’s a sudden spring in your step, a hop and a skip, turn to the left, another left, one more, go, go, go, and there she is, right in front of you.

“Hi! What a pleasant surprise!” You greet her.

You fake it.


Fokat ka Attendance ….

“Do I have to go?” she says. (read, I do not want to go)

“Darling, its important. Please come,” he says.

“Okay, but don’t expect me to do heeheehaahaa with Mrs. ABC,” she warns.

“I’ll do the talking, you just smile,” he implores.

She does go, and does smile. Also gets coaxed in to talk a bit, in fact Mrs.ABC doesn’t even give her too much of a choice. Oh, the obligatory compulsions of marriage and social etiquettes.

Mind you, the pleading attitude of the husband is also as fake as can be, cos he knows a high-handed one is going to lead him nowhere.

She fakes it. And so does he.


The Bechara Boyfriend ….

The argument over who the real victims are, the modern-day evolved women or the crafty calculative men, is a never-ending one. Feminists would have their own rigid opinions, while misogynists would have their personal agendas. But you and I at the bottom of our hearts do know, that if nobody, at least the ‘desperate pursuer’ or the ‘hopeless boyfriend’ are easy preys.

Given a choice, the poor guy would actually voice his opinion, on the shirt that he was asked to wear, the salad that he was asked to eat, the sandwich that he was asked to share, the party that he was asked to attend, and the list goes on. But he pretends, and how!

He fakes it.


The Husband’s Dukh Bhari Dastaan ….

She: “How do I look?”

He: “Beautiful!”

Familiar lines? Every wife on this exploding planet of ours repeatedly asks the same question, after having put in lots of efforts to lead to that look, and every husband very dutifully sums it up.

Another one:

She: “You think she looks better than I do?”

He: “No way baby! You are the best. Not that I keenly looked at her anyway.”

The guy doesn’t really have a choice. Its like a recorded CD. Every time you play it, you know whats going to be the output.

He fakes it.


Fake main aur fake tu, donon milein is tarah
Pura situation amusing ho gaya hai, woh toh hona hi tha!

You thought I was going to give you some gyaan or do some blah blah about ‘How could you!’ or “Brutus, you too!”. Nah. Big deal people, happens to all of us. Happy Faking!






48 comments:

Maniparna Sengupta Majumder said...

Hehehe...Loved the humour and glints of sarcasm :-D We fake it, yes, we do. Saying that we don't is a blatant lie. I can especially relate to going on a social gathering and talking to Mrs ABC even if I hate her. :-P Social animals we are and have no other way. But, frankly, these days, I try my best to ignore those people whom I don't like...

Alok singhal said...

Hahaha, you made my day! Saale feku log...main nahin hoon, main sach kehta hoon!

Ananya Kiran said...

Lolz what a honest post :)
well written

House Party Pics

Leena Walawalkar said...

Mani you totally get what I wanna say babe :)
Yep each one of us tries to do what we can, but alas!

Leena Walawalkar said...

You made my day by saying that buddy and I loved that, saale fake log :-)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Ananya dear! So glad you liked it :-)

magiceye said...

Hahahah.... pakad liya!!

Fun post, honest, am not faking!!

Matheikal said...

Life has become impossible without faking ��

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Deepak, I'm so relieved :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

True dat! No possibilities for sure.

shraddha singh said...

Hahaha... really !! This ones the best from your side.
and yes we all do that faking in our daily lives.

Anoop Pillai said...

I loved the sarcasm in this one,lol!!!

Saket said...

What I like most is that you have refused to demonize 'Faking', and presented it as a natural part of human behaviour, something which very few will do (if asked to give their opinion about faking).

Clearly, you weren't faking.......

umashankar said...

That was a nice little set of exposés that we are all familiar with deep down. I wonder if some of those are like phatic communion where we are bound to agree with the observation of the initiator of a dialogue.

Somali said...

'Fake main aur fake tu..' Ha ha sahi hai. A post with a punch.
We all fake sometime or the other, some more than the others, and we also dislike those who fake more than us. :)

Indrani said...

Ha ha good one. :)
Initially I thought me a fake? Never!
But I now agree : Me a fake - YES sometimes! :)

UK Fashionablefoods said...

Laughed all the way.. Thanks.. :)

Prasanna Dasari said...

This post of you made me to laugh after a longtime ha-ha, thank you for sharing these 'fakes' Leena :) Happy blogging.

sapana v said...

This is too funny Leena.. start to end could not stop laughing. most funny of all was "We like to fake it fake it...."

Bilna Sandeep - Monsoon Breeze said...

haha..i loved the point that you did not fake it while writing about fakes! Its natural and a part of our lives already!! Though sad..its true we need to fake it at so many times!!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Yep Shraddha, part and parcel of our daily lives! I'm glad you liked the post :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks so much ANoop!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thank you Saket for appreciating that :)
And its true right, whats the point in demeaning it when its done in a harmless way.

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thats for you to decide Uma, the field is open :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Hehe, so very true Somali. Thanks so much for those sweet words :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Indrani dear, we all do harmless faking, don't we :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Im glad you liked it UK!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks so much Prasanna! Glad I could spread some cheer :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Sapana dear, happy you found it so :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

So true Bilna! Its something we cannot escape.

sadhvi mythili sarangula said...

He he he..
I agree faking to be an internal part of lives , People just fake that they are not faking

Rajesh said...

Good one. Hilarious.

Leena Walawalkar said...

Loved that, people fake that they are not faking :) True Sadhvi!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thank you Rajesh!

JAMSHED AZMI said...

Nice Article here. Thanks for this post. Happy blogging.

Rat said...

I could visualize the FAKER FACE at every situation you've presented above. Awesome post! Fake nahi rahi hoon :P

rangelz said...

The sarcasm! :D I'm not well versed with the marriage & boyfriend areas.But overall, a good deal of faking becomes necessary. Being entirely honest on one hand could lead to disasters. As I read somewhere, how will the world look if people bled on the sidewalks and kissed strangers? :)

NationalViews said...

Hahahaha..funny stuff...loved the honest attempt....Laughed thoroughly

Jyoti Dehliwal said...

बहुत बढ़िया लीना जी, सच में मैं फेंक नहीं रहीं हूं!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thank you Jamshed!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks so much Meera dear :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Hehe, so true Ranjini!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thank you! Welcome to my blog :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thank you so much Jyotiji!

vishal bheeroo said...

You've put a smile on my face, Leena and makes me wonder how adept we are at faking it in real and at a subconscious manner. Simply brilliant. Love the humor behind.

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks so much Vishal!

The Youth Magazine said...

Your content gives readers things to think about in an interesting way


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Leena Walawalkar said...

Thankyou for those kind words! And a warm welcome to my blog :-)