Agar Tum Na Hote!

A world sans internet! Hard to imagine? All the more difficult to believe that we lived and survived without this indispensable monster two decades ago. To say that its taken over our lives would be an understatement.

Akele Hain toh Kya Gam Hai! – Go online

Khoon Chusne Bloody Monday Aaya – Go Online

Confusion hi Confusion hai Solution Kuch Pata Nahi – Go Online

Shaadi Ka Khayaal Dil Mein Aaya Hai – Go Online

As a writer, its not very difficult to enter the imaginary world and visualise something. If and then scenarios are fun indeed. What it would be like if……... You wanna give it a shot too? Let me help you out.

Parents Bechare, Boj ke Maare ....

Who likes to see their prodigy wasting valuable time doing nonsensical stuff on the computer! “Hamaara bachpan, ohohoho! Being out and about, frolicking with nature, playing those dhamakedaar games with chaddi-buddies!”

But majaal hai that anybody could function without internet! Now that Google has an answer to everything, turns out we know nothing. Who would answer the never-ending kickass questions of the over smart gen-next, without the help of Google uncle?

Sample this conversation -

“How do you pee in space?”
“O teri! I think my phone is ringing.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Is it? Maybe I just got to pee. I’ll be back.”

Wherever you go my network follows ....

Yes, Skype and the likes have made the world a smaller place. Mom teaching recipe from saat samundar paar, free messaging causing sister ka daily waar! Sadke javaan! Extended family and their extended families, who would’ve thought family could’ve been so up your *** even after you jumped across borders!

But what about the Ghar ki Kahaani? Husband romancing the laptop, wife swooning over the phone, and children, oye hoye hoye.

Husbands ka Dilemma ....

With everything available at the click of a button, husbands shed a few inches, just thinking of the hole in the pocket. Though men are no less in this department, they are very much capable of claiming that this is something they can easily live without or maybe don’t even need. If only internet could run without this Eve’s apple called Online Shopping, but alas!

And on the other hand, imagine no internet and the poor guy would almost get breathless if we take away his blackberry, his whatsapp, his linkedin, his online reports, his remote access…Aji Sunte ho, saans le rahe ho na?

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag ....

This awesome feeling that some virtual friends tend to give you, wanting to run away to some wireless remote corner of the world. That one nasty woman you’ve been trying to avoid since like ever, and that boy who’s as annoying as can be, there they are, poking you, telling you what they ate, where they are, what they are wearing, and you have no choice but to listen. If only, we still lived in the era of the few chosen besties.

Vele Hackers, Busy Daakiye ....

Daakiya daak laya! Yep that golden era would resurface, where a family would await the arrival of that one man, like a farmer awaits the rains - postman.

On the other hand, a number of super-busy individuals spending their lives for the noble cause of cyber-crime would suddenly find their lives not worth living!

The Woman Tight Spot ....

Those women who’ve been blessed with naughty boyfriends and better halves would rejoice like no one else if the internet disappeared from their world. But let’s face it, which woman today can live without her social media accounts? And with the woman of this century being out and about, blackberry is as much her lifeline too! And, should I say it? Let me whisper – retail therapy does help and losing the luxury of doing it remotely? Haaayy! And to imagine a world without it! Bacchhi ki jaan loge kya?

Chillaaaane ki Azaadi ....

Arey, of course! An opinion on anything and everything, and a medium to express it to the world! Be it Kanhaiya’s treason, the Bollywood breakup season, Mallya’s Shaanpatti or Donald Trump's victory, how oh how would we tell the world what we feel about it?

Do I see you looking bewildered, and thinking I’ve lost it! How on earth would you even be reading this blah blah had it not been for the internet! Now don’t I know that?

Just try an exercise shall ya, get off all social media for one day – yeah the modern day equivalent of becoming a Sanyasi! Get back here and share your experience!

Image Source:
Clip arts

Clip art image by Cliparts.co