Sunday, 31 July 2016

5 Googlies Smart Kids Could Throw At You!




One of the big problems with our generation is that we are always trying to attain a stage where we can proclaim to ourselves and (more importantly) to the world that 'We have arrived'. Careers, relationships, zindagi is driven by this agenda. One such major 'upload to Facebook' moment is the overnight conversion of the modern day fudakta hua couple into responsible doting parents.



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The first couple of years are spent in doing alele, sshho shweet (the baby might be probably thinking you need an English refresher course for your language skills). Cos mind you, the kid has always had a mind of his own. He's just not been equipped with enough vocabulary. The real fun begins when he starts putting his thoughts out there, framing them into words and sentences. Doesn't matter if those sentences are broken or in the incorrect order, they are enough to send you into a frenzy.


Sample some funny embarrassing hilarious experiences parents blessed with kickass kids encounter. And this is just a 3 year old I'm talking of fellas!

Why? ...

The eternal question. So you thought you could just tell him anything and he would accept it at face value? Jaago Mohan pyaare. He is probably the most difficult student you'd ever bump into in your life. Every instruction will be greeted with an instant query about the origination of the thought in your mind in the first place, and every statement shall be retaliated with hundreds of doubts of the curious mind. Pheww!! Look what a complex phrase I coined to put across the thought. You getting the drift? That's the state of the mind you are in when you have one of these oversmart kids of the gennext hovering around you day and night.

You have got to be armed with knowledge, equipped with information and ready for your brain cells to be challenged in every which way.

You have got to do it this way - why?
Eat your vegetables – why?
Drink your liquids – why?
The Sun comes up in the morning, the moon comes out at night – why?
I am tired -  why?
Mamma has just about managed to give daddy a hug, and he walks in - why?

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Look! ...

This phenomenon is a part and parcel of life, and there is nothing you can do about it really. Its okay until he’s just pointing at someone and saying ‘Mamma, look, uncle is wearing a superman tshirt’ (unless that uncle is a man who is allergic to kids and their general hungama!) Yep, such people do exist!

But sample this. Amongst the many pieces of information hes made you pass on to him, one thing you’ve also shown him is how to distinguish between say an aunty and a grandmaMajaa toh tab aata hai, when you are in a lift, a woman who’s just about embarking upon a phase of the most dreaded age group and has cleverly tried to mask its signs, enters the lift. He points at her and says, ‘Mamma, look, grandma!’. There’s nowhere to hide, nowhere to run.

Or say, you are at a party, where a fat uncle has let go of his inhibitions and let out gas thinking its just a harmless toddler around him. And your little one comes running to you and makes an announcement in front of a big crowd, pointing at the uncle, and revealing to the world ‘Look, he just farted’.

Because ...

Do you think that there could possibly be a valid reason for everything a kid does and says? Well trust me, there is. At least in their head. And so they will do everything in their capacity to convince you why they have been upto something.

That’s my bath towel, its not meant to be lying on the floor under your cycle! – I have kept it because its my speedbreaker
Its time to eat your breakfast – I need to lie down because I’m not feeling well

Because, because, because...sometimes it could get to the point of tumhara ek ek sawaal unke do do jawaab!

  
Memory game ...

How is it that he can remember every single freaking word I uttered, even if it was just by accident? Whereas I seem to be suffering from an acute case of amnesia since the day I took charge of one whole seemingly small but unbelievably (mentally) enormous human being! 

It is a proud moment, aint it, when he tells you things he had seen or experienced ages ago, and gives you a glimpse of his fantastic memory. But the party doesn’t last for a long time my friend. Every promise, nah even if its just an assurance, is remembered and rubbed in your face at just the right moment.

There come moments where you just wanna say Teri maa ki…Oops, that’s me!

Fix it ...

This one is a women related saga. No matter how much you do, the ultimate hero is the dad. He can fix anything and everything. At times just to get out of something on a super tiring day you’ve said ‘I cannot do it, tell daddy when hes home; he’ll fix it.’ And thats the end. As if daddy needed any further push to his already elevated status, this sentence seals it, and makes him a superhero forever. The most unattainable and unachievable feat, something even mom cannot do, shall be fixed by daddy.

The bath sponge is torn, and comes a request ‘fix it’. When you try to explain that its an object that cannot be exactly fixed, pat comes the reply, ‘Maybe daddy can fix it’. Munna, I have done something no man can even come close to, nau mahine kok mein rakkha tujhe aur eventually push kiya!


Text books will have to be reopened and parenting funds will have to be modified for this shaana generation. 


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11 comments:

Sonal Bhalerao said...

I have gone thru all this n its still going ON... 😅 we suggest something n then comes a query we like an intelligent parent answer their query n here comes one more question... Hum unke sawaal ka jawab dete hai aur vo hamare jawab mein se ek aur sawaal dhoond nikalte hai.... N then we pity ourselves n say oh god m such a dumbo......😀😀😀😀 I can't even answer my lil ones query... Believe me no dictionary or encyclopedia comes to ur help....

Sonal Bhalerao said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
vishal bheeroo said...

Woah! The funny lady is back..ek ke baar ek..Mommy and Daddy singing Baar baaar ho apne jeet ho unki haar ho:)

Haddock said...

Perfectly written. Funny but true.
I have kept it because its my speedbreaker...... ha ha.

JAMSHED AZMI said...

Bahut ghi achchhi post. Mujhe bahut pasand aayi. thanks for sharing.

JAMSHED AZMI said...

Bahut dino se aapki koi nai post nhi aayi. Sab theek to hea.

Leena Walawalkar said...

True dat Sonal!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Vishal!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Haddock!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thankyou for asking Jamsehdji..all ok, just short of time!

Sneh Asnani said...

Superb post!! hilarious and i can relate to some of it!!

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