Saturday, 3 October 2015

Are You Judgemental?



What if I started talking about Anu Agarwal? You’d go back to checking out other NewsFeed. No news about her is breaking news. She came, gave a hit, did a couple of crappy films, and vanished. She might be hooked /single, working/piling on, for all you care.


Selected as a top post on Blogadda!






When she did the disappearing act in the 90s, just like most of you Bollywood buffs, I presumed there were no takers for her kind of acting prowess, or the lack of it. All of us added her name to a list of one movie wonders. And then Shift+Delete or even Ctrl+Alt+Del.

The Real Story:  Fame & sudden Limelight = Bit of Britney Spears, some of Matthew Perry and the likes. Life became a tipsy roller-coaster, and then one day, a brutal accident and a coma state for a month. In went a frivolous immature girl and out came a mellowed reponsible woman. Today, shes a Yogi, preaching Yoga around the world.

And why am I blabbering about Ms Agarwal today? Cos this data about her triggered some nodes in my brain. A convenient attitude of jumping to frivolous conclusions. You and I, we are all judgemental souls. We don’t spare anyone. We don’t wait for explanations. We don’t give second chances.

You think you’re an exception? Try this out.

a. You are on a bus. A boy’s talking, a girl’s smiling. They are merrily chitchatting, oblivious to the world around.
b. A new friend on the block. Not really reciprocal of your messages and calls lately.
c. An old acquaintance just broke up. 3 boyfriends in 5 years.

Do your own analysis before you read further. No cheating.

If you’ve been true to your natural instincts, then this is what you would’ve derived. Case a - Boy and girl are doing it or are wannabe doers! Case b – The new friend is either ignoring you, or worse, is acting pricey. Case c – The girl is a slut.

What could very much be possible is this. The girl and boy are buddies, in a healthy relationship. The new friend is superbusy or maybe going through a rough patch. The old acquaintance has a knack of bumping into a wrong guy or is just downright stupid.

But given how analytically blessed we think we are, we tend to believe we’ve got it all figured out.

Labelling a Woman:
Fat – Must be Overeating.
Thin – Gotta be Anoerexic!
Skimpily clad -  Ooooo, Chhammak chhallo.
Fully clothed – What a Behenji!

Sizing up a Man:
Shy - So Arrogant.
Friendly - How Despo!

We have a tag for everything. And its all ok, until one day you realise that somebody’s been making cool tags for you too! Now what? Simple, breathe and let breathe. Lets try to memorise this. No its not ok to be over-critical. No they are not excellent assessment skills. And everyone has a story.






PS.  If its superfacial and temporary, you can still live with it. But if you’re overly judgemental, time to play ‘Statue’. Remember that kiddy game? Freeze, think, look around. You’ve got company or you walking all alone?






32 comments:

vishalbheeroo said...

We have become so superficial, quick judging without knowing the kind of storm the people been through. If only, we would care fighting our battle and looking at our minuses, Btw, I loove this woman, Anu, for living life on her own term. Read an excerpt on her book and lovers. At least, she got the courage to own it up:)

Maitreni Mishra said...

Such an inspiring post it is Leena. One shouldn't be that superficial enough to judge others, instead explore and your inner self retrospect your conscience.

Leena Walawalkar said...

Very true Vishal! All of us get judgemental without even realising it. Its very important to sit back and give everything a calm second thought. And yeah, Anu Agarwal, haven't read about her book yet but she sure seems to be baring it all out!

Leena Walawalkar said...

I'm glad you found it so Maitreni, thanks! Introspection, that is indeed essential before we put others under the scanner.

Vinitha Dileep said...

My favorite topic, Leena. We should at least try to be nonjudgmental. Yes, stop and look around, that might be helpful. :)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks dear! Yeah at times, we don't even realise we are doing it! We need to take a conscious effort indeed.

Bilna Sandeep said...

You are right. We tend to judge anything or everything knowingly or unknowingly

Sumandebray said...

Do agree with you. Two worst human nature are being judgmental and profiling people.
Thanks for reminding us

Seena Koshy said...

A well written article Leena.. Go ahead.. All the best..

Leena Walawalkar said...

Yeah Bilna, the problem is we do it many times without realising it, so the reminder :-)

Leena Walawalkar said...

You are welcome Suman! Some things just need a little nudge, don't they?

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks so much Seena!

Rajeev Moothedath said...

A good post with a lot of truth!

Team BlogAdda said...


Congratulations! Your blog post was selected for Tangy Tuesday Picks edition on October 6, 2015 at BlogAdda.

Please find it here : http://blog.blogadda.com/2015/10/06/tangy-tuesday-picks-october-6-2015

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thats a great beginning to the day :-) Thanks team!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Rajeev..appreciate!

sujata sengupta said...

IThis made me realise that what my children think of me is absolutely true. I was bang on each of those scenarios -
1) definitely doing it
2) Snob
3) What a loser/ even a possible slut

No wonder the kids want to put me in a museum. But jokes apart loved what you said here and I truly believe that it is our first instinct to label others but if we give ourselves a moment and rethink we might be able to show graciousness, which is also there in us, maybe a bit further down :)

indu chhibber said...

Very true-couldn't agree with you more.

Leena Walawalkar said...

Haha, you aren't an exception Sujata, thats the problem with most of us. Something we need to work on. And we shall get there one day!
Thanks so much for stopping by :-)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Indu, glad you agree. Keep visiting!

Sumeet Nayak said...

I couldn't agree more to what you mentioned in this article. How much ever we try not to be the one who is judgemental, our mind won't listen. We all are trained in such a way that we tend to get judgemental rather than think what other possible scenario could exist.

Leena Walawalkar said...

Yes Sumeet,thats the problem! We do not think further or beyond.

Archana Kapoor said...

Very well penned Leena! Tis one of my fav topics 😊

Indrani said...

Very true!
And I am impressed by Anu Agarwal!

Sri Kri said...

Well said Leena.Very true.Nice post.
Cheers
Sriram & Krithiga

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Archana! I think it features on everybody's list :-)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Indrani! And yep the babe has surprised us all!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Sri Kri!

Somali K Chakrabarti said...

You have explained it wonderfully Leena. Going by your questions I am happy to say that I try not to be judgmental...or rather would wait for repeated recurrence of an event before firming up my opinion. :-)

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thats awesome Somali dear! Very few of us have that kind of a command over our mind. And thanks for your compliment :-)

ilakshee said...

Couldn't have said it any better. guilty of it myself at times. a refreshing mirror you hold. Keep writinng!

Leena Walawalkar said...

Thanks Ilakshee for those sweet words :-)