Hai Dhuaan Hai Dhuaan .......

This is a public apology letter, long due. Better late than never! A humble attempt to say ‘Pardon me’, to various sections of the society.

The Occasion? Christening of Delhi as a Gas Chamber.

The Need? Silly desire to breathe fresh air (other Metro Cities aren’t lagging far behind).

The Convict? Apparently all the elderly, all the infants, all of those with a chronic lung condition or with heart problems.

The Magnanimous Forgivers? The below mentioned Samaritans.

Image Credit: cliparts.co

• First and foremost, I apologize to mankind for the title of this post. The song is hummable; lets give him that, shall we?
• Moving ahead, I apologize to owners of all those trucks, rickshaws and vehicles, which use adulterated fuel. Imagine, people like me actually have the nerve to frown, when all these vehicles do is simply leave balls of smoke in my lungs.
• Oh yeah, the snobbish show-off families, where the father believes his power is arrived at, by the members in the family multiplied by the number of cars.
• And every teenager chhava, who has faith that he’d impress the chhavi with his driving skills, and that teenager chhokri who needs the wheels at her hand to feel liberated.
• I also apologize to the corporates, whose employees are left with no choice but to arrange for their own travel mode, cos the employer is too chikoo.
• An advanced apology to those car owners who must’ve had a brainwave when the odd-even car rule was announced, leading to a visit to car showrooms. What for? For picking up another appropriate car, silly!
• And oh yeah, not to miss out that dhaasu category of people, who would’ve started making arrangements for alternate nameplates.  
• I extend the apology to those taxi/rickshaw drivers, who would be waiting with bated breath for the decision to roll in. Boni ka time hoga na! Looto!
• So who’s next? It’s the ever-friendly section of the traffic police, who eagerly look forward to the release of new rules. Cos its simple, rules are meant to be broken. And pardoned with a Gandhi imprinted piece of paper.
• How can we forget the Netajis? Don’t they simply deserve a special thank-you note? One that could even be framed separately.

The task shall be incomplete without this. A warm heartfelt note of gratitude to the decision makers the country has had the fortune of having since Independence!

a. For dragging metro cities to the state they are currently in, with incessant dedicated work over the years, involving but not limited to, corruption and selfish political agendas.
b. For breaking down the very backbone of the metros, the infrastructure. And expecting now, that without any good connectivity, people shall still reach workplaces sans their private vehicles. Chaar kadam chaldo na saath mere? Or better still, spend alternate nights at work?
c. For ensuring that women are so terrified in the country that they drive around in their own vehicles more out of necessity. And then asking the same women to travel at odd hours in stranger cars (paving way for the shameless ruthless a**holes of the country to have a field day).
d. Oh, before I miss out, the opposition parties, who would even in their slumber state, be shouting slogans ‘Nahi chalegi, nahi chalegi, tanashahi nahi chalegi’. More often than not, without knowing what it is that they are actually opposing.

To all these great souls I very respectfully apologize. And yes, lets not forget the hidden perks. Who needs the foggy Swiss Alps anymore? We have our very own smoky locales for the Johars and the Chopras. Hai dhuaan hai dhuaan!