Sunday 6 March 2016

Vaada Karle Sajna!

As he sat across the table, I looked into his eyes and said to him, “Yes, tum oxygen ho aur mein double hydrogen, aur hamaari chemistry paani ki tarah hai. So I thought I'd make your life easier, and answer the eternal question. Here’s the much coveted much debated much wanted list - ‘What Does a Woman Really Want!’ You’re welcome sweetheart!”

For the benefit of all MANkind, a list from WOMANkind, here it goes –


That you shall strive for the absence of the following ….

- Wet towels on the bed,
- Smelly socks,
- Toilet seat in the upright position,
- Appliances and gadgets as gifts on special occasions,

That eyebrows shall not be raised ….

- When you lay your eyes on my collection of shoes,
- When I’m trying to figure out what to wear for that party and I conclude I have nothing to wear,
- When a particular dress is not as behenji type as your possessive side would like it to be,
- When I say that a particular woman is a bitch and shall utter something nasty the moment I turn my back,
- When I opt for a silly TV show instead of racking my brains over a puzzle you totally love.

That there shall be PDA ….

Virat Kohli can sob on Twitter, Ranveer Singh can eye his secret girlfriend at awards shows, then you could surely go for it too. Showing gratitude, appreciation, love, and all other blah blah feelings in public. Or better still, on Facebook - the modern day equivalent of shouting from the rooftop.

That you shall be in control (without being controlling) ….

That girlfriend of mine might seem outright dumb to you, but hellow, we laugh, cry, make hallagulla, simply have a blast together. So a request of staying away shall not be entertained.

That your choice shall be in sync with my choice ….

Actually, would help if you didn’t have one. But never mind. You could at least try not making faces when I pick up a rom-com for viewing next time, and not look amazed when I show absolutely no interest whatsoever in a car turning into a robot, or super humans trying to save the planet. Give it a shot.

That you shall understand my silence ….

You did follow the movie ‘Pushpak’, didn’t you! Then once in a while you could try reading my mind too. Why oh why, do I have to spell out every single time what it is that is exactly bothering me, and whether I need space or a Jaadu ki Jhappi.

That you shall smile at the dinner table ….

I am a cook, not a chef. And more importantly, I’m not your mom. Entering the kitchen and dishing out food in itself is a 'Yeah, I did it!' moment for me. So it would be really helpful if you didn’t fuss over the (once in a while) salty vegetable or the not so perfect curry. How about saying, 'Bade bade shehron mein aisi chhoti chhoti baatein hoti rehti hai!'

That there shall be no remarks on my brilliant knowledge of technology ….

You didn’t marry me for my nerdiness, did you? Then it’s got to be okay dear, if I’m not a big fan of advanced technology and geeky devices.

That there shall be romantic gestures once in a while ….

Or even surprises, pleasant ones. I know there’s a house to be cleaned, bills to be paid, a family to be taken care of. But there’s also an attention-seeking, teen girl in me waiting to hear this every now and then - Jahaapanaa, tussi great ho, tohfa kabool karo!

That you shall listen ….

As in really listen, not just nod your head in a submissive way, cos you are engrossed in responding to your buddies’ watsapp messages, checking blackberry for official mail, or wondering what would it take to zip my mouth.

And some final gentle reminders ….

- That you’d keep complimenting me even after I reach an age where the mirror stops being my friend,
- That you’d hold hands even after 20 years of marriage,
- That you shall notice a haircut, a new accessory, a new dress, just like you would when we were dating!

That you’d give me Azaadi (oops, this one’s not meant for you)

“Mamma, mamma, mammmmmaaa!” The noise had begun to get louder and clearer, and I finally opened my eyes.

‘Holy c**!’ I muttered to myself.

There stood my little one, trying to wake me up from my power nap. A nap so powerful, I had ended up seeing such a bizarre dream.

“What’s the matter? Do you want something?” asked a very concerned Mr A, gauging the perplexed look on my face.

“Don’t worry, I just want you to be you,” I said.

I’m blogging about the kasams I want from my man this Women’s Day with the #SadaSexy activity at BlogAdda


Vishal Bheeroo said...

haha!! Leena loove it, the humor and bechara husband. How about adding the song, Mein hoon Jodu ka Ghulam, bann ke rahoonga:)

Unknown said...

Hehe, just wanted to bring out how (unreasonably) demanding we women can get in a funny way!

Alok singhal said...

Sab kuch aadmiyon se hi karwana hai kya? Kuch khud bhi kasam kha lo!

Lol, your humor is amazing!

D.Nambiar said...

Haha! Perrrrrfect!!
Hey hubbies, here's your bible. ;)

I hope you are doing well, Leena. :)

Unknown said...

Abhi wives ke expense pe kitna hanste ho tum sab aadmi (wives ki jokes ne santa banta ko full time replace kiya hai), so I thought lets turn the tables around at least on paper..hehe

Unknown said...

Hey Dee dear, thanks for asking :) Been very irregular lately cos my toddler's been falling sick a lot lately
Glad u enjoyed the post!

Sumandebray said...

That's a rocking post. Loved every bit of it.

... the next most powerful "I have a Dream" speech if I could dare to say that

Jyoti Dehliwal said...

लीना जी, इसमे से पूरी कितनी होती है? खैर, बढ़िया प्रसृति।

Utpal Khot said...

Too much..ha ha ..:)

Sapana said...

Reading this, start to end it kept me laughing. I need to show this to my husband.

umashankar said...

You do acknowledge the impossibility of it all with that twist in the end, don't you! :P

Arun said...

Great sense of humor with an unexpected ending!

Unknown said...

Haha...this makes a perfect afternoon read, when energy level drops and you need something light to pep you up. Also a BIG Congratulations for being the Made of Great Runner up.

Cifar said...

lovely humorous post

Rat said...

Haha.. Awesome Leena. You crack me up! Loved the last line though. :)


Ha..Ha... Vaada kr le Sajna.., Nhi to Ghar ki roti to bhul hi ja. Nice post here.

Unknown said...

You've already dared, havent you :-P

Unknown said...

Thankyou Jyotiji!

Unknown said...

Thanks for that UK!

Unknown said...

Sapana, please do and let me know the reaction dear!

Unknown said...

Haha, whats a story without a twist, isnt it ? ;-)

Unknown said...

Thanks ARun! Glad you liked it :)

Unknown said...

Thankyou SOmali dear! Im glad I could be of service ;-)

Unknown said...

Thanks so much Cifar!

Unknown said...

Thankyou Meera dear :)

Unknown said...

Ghar ki roti, waah waah, Jamshed ji :)

K.A. Acharya said...

Hilarious post. Love your sense of humour. :)

Unknown said...

Thankyou Kiran!