Sunday 1 May 2016

Albert Pinto Ko Gussa Kyon Aata Hai!

-          Some people are like clouds. When they disappear the day gets brighter.
-          I think stupid people were put on this planet to test our anger management skills.
-          Kuch log bubbles ki tarah hote hain, dekte hi fodne ka mann karta hai!

Report: NSA use smartphone apps like Angry Birds to track people ...

I’m sure this happens to many of you. Sometimes its them, sometimes our mood. Bottomline is Albert Pinto ko Gussa Aa hi Jaata hai!
I believed, wait why believed, I truly am quite a calm person unless someone rubs me the wrong way. Don’t get misled. I am not a Gandhian. I will not offer my other cheek if somebody hits me on one. But I do tend to control my emotions in a lot of provocative situations. Lately though I’ve started realising that the emotions are not just under our control in today’s overly modern, overly technological, overly connected, overly loud and over-the-top world. 

Thand rakkh puttar,’ I have to keep reminding myself. I am faced with quite a few dramatic circumstances where the Durga hiding in me wants to come into action.
How do I control is the question? How do all of us control? Barring the brethren who believe in venting out their frustrations through road rage incidents or targeting innocent people, the saner ones like us just need a good handle over our emotions.  Having observed the plight of a lot many people in different situations led my string of thoughts into this direction:

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Boss ka Vaar ….
You were the one who burned the midnight oil! You were the one who sacrificed on a lot of family time. You were the one who got stressed out and worked out! And the malai went off to someone else. Sounds familiar? 
Remember you aren’t alone. And keep a check on your natural instincts, before you let the Sunny Deol in you take over. If needbe, take the Thanda Thanda Paani route. If splashing on the face aint doing anything, head home and take a shower. And even after doing so much magajmaari, if you don’t even have the freedom to leave your desk early for that shower, freeze. Remember that childhood game ‘Statue’? Do it to yourself.

Exif | Royalty-Free (RF) Clipart Illustration of an Angry Computer ...

Biwi ke Changul Mein Fasa Hua Abla Purush ….
If we were to believe the number of jokes about wives perpetually doing the rounds on social media, we can very fairly conclude that the bechara husbands are big-time victims of a big racket called marriage. And however much they try, there is apparently neither escape nor respite. For all such ‘gaays’ (pun intended), there is the Om Shanti Om route. Close your eyes and meditate. Shaanti milegi baccha. I mean Man ki Shaantiguys!

Pyar ke Side Effects ….
The other kind. Books fell, they were picked up, nain-matakka, and then the usual. Yes, you two got hooked. That is where a reel life story may end but a real life story only begins. Then the guy is faced with one of the most difficult exams he’s ever appeared for, the task of impressing the girl’s father. And not every guy is SRK of ‘Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge’ you know, who would literally travel thousands of miles and go all out to befriend the would be father-in-law. There are also a few Salman Khans from the movie ‘Love’. Angry young men, who have to be told every step of the way to controllllll. Do you remember what his lady love taught him? Counting! But in the reverse order. Starting from 100, begin counting backwards.

The Mind telling you - Patli Galli Se Bhaag Lo ….
Many a times, we get embroiled in ‘Dimaag ka fuse ud gaya’ type situations. All you wanna do is punch that person in the face.
I know of a ‘lady’, who is one of the silliest persons I’ve ever met. But whenever I’ve seen her (from a distance thankfully), she’s deeply engrossed in talking about herself and teaching life’s lessons to some poor soul. I have successfully managed to keep her at an arm’s length. But not everyone can. At such times, one needs to keep reminding himself that if it wasn’t for such stupid people around you, there would’ve been no jokes to laugh at. Take a deep breath and start yogasanas. A headstand, ala Shirshasana might do wonders!

Angry Cartoon Person Images & Pictures - Becuo

Doctor Doctor ….
Dil ka Doctor? No re, dimaag ka. That is if it’s not too late. If your anger is so deadly that it’s the mera khoonkhaul utha types, that you truly believe that it’s not you but it’s the people around you who need to stop pissing you off, then better head to the doctor before you actually have to run to the Dil ka Doctor!

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umashankar said...

All right. This is the Albertest Pinto of the Planet Earth writing a comment.

While I am still seething after the mercies (read lack of) shown by my superiors after burning midnight oil, having worked all day like an Eskimo dog —and I fully appreciate the burst of many situations in that emotional, PowerPoint— I am ready to go to that ultimate doctor all guns blazing rather than a dimag-ka-doctor. Of late, I have been trying meditation, though not in the context you have broached the subject. I mean, how can people get so cunning and foolish at the same time?

Alok singhal said...

You are so funny (I told you earlier also). Love your punches and the way to lay-out issues!

I belong to the bechara pati case, have to do what Mrs says, else khaana nahin milega aaj!

khushi said...


I love your style of writing! :D

The Enchantress said...

You got something which solves any problem in a bubble - a great sense of humor :)

Vishal Bheeroo said...

Shanti Rakh!!! I know...they are all over the place as if promoting their own brainless self!!

Jamshed Azmi said...

Ha..Ha.., Truly. Sach me kuchh log bubbles ki hi tareh hote hean. Jinhe dekhte hi fodne ka man karta he. Nice post.

Jyoti Dehliwal said...

सुंदर प्रस्तुति।

Yogi Saraswat said...

Kuch log bubbles ki tarah hote hain, dekte hi fodne ka mann karta hai! Thand Rakhya . thand . Leena ji , your post was too funny . Its an art to assemble the words in a proper way so that it can be a reason to laugh. Brilliantly written.

Unknown said...

OMG! You didnt even have to announce that you are the Albertest Pinto, your msg says it all Uma :)

Unknown said...

Hehe Alok, another joke on wives haan! Kab bakshoge tum pati community humko :-)
And oh yeah, thanks for the compliment buddy!

Unknown said...

Thankyou so much Khushi!

Unknown said...

Thankyou dear Enchantress :-)

Unknown said...

Shanti to rakkhi hi hai Vishal, varna............hehe!

Unknown said...

Yes, rightly said Jamshed :)

Unknown said...

Thankyou Jyotiji!

Unknown said...

Thanks so much Yogi! YOu are always generous with your praises :)

Rat said...

I yell randomly to let my anger out. :PI exactly know when to stop so that I don't infect others with my anger. It's a witty post, Leena :)

Unknown said...

Thanks Rat!

Sadhvi said...

Loved this one dear, I keep on telling myself that 'life is not in many ways, but tuh sabar rakh puttar'. Otherwise i would have become homicidal or suicidal with frustration