Sunday 1 November 2015

Rewind, Edit & Play!



Have you ever given this a thought? What if you had this unbelievable super-power, the option of rewinding your life and editing one unwanted portion?

I see many female hands going up in unison. The demand being SRK. Yes SRK has changed the way romance is perceived and love is defined. And yes, ‘Dilwale’s’ snippets have refreshed memories. I’ve come across so many statuses lately, of females drooling over SRK and how he’s killed romance for them forever. Reason - nothing can come close to DDLJ and KKHH. Agreed. But it’s the Rahuls and the Rajs we all are in love with dearies. In real life, we need to check with Gauri Khan if it’s really worth it.




Of course men are no different. Blame Sunny Leone and all the unwanted clips and videos that are shut down when the wife or girlfriend walks in. Come on guys, its always a package deal you know. She’s not going to do your laundry and make you breakfast (or say, help you do it). Take care of her in-laws and children? Nah!

Lets get real. Don’t make faces. I know the very idea of rewind and edit wouldn’t fit the category of real, but just IMAGINE. What would life have been like –

  • If you had cracked that CAT or IITJEE or CET or CA et al?
  • Or you would’ve nailed that coveted job interview, and lived the dream?
  • Or even better, if you would’ve taken a gamble and pursued that offbeat awesome profession which you’ve shut your eyes and ears to?
  • Say, boys, what if that girl had accepted your rose, when the background score of ‘lalala,lala’ was ringing loud in your ears?
  • What if that one girl had actually turned around and given you that killer smile when your heart was shrieking ‘palat, palat’?
  • And girls, what if that boy for whom the heart had done ‘dhakdhak’ had actually given you a second look?


Is that all that could come to your mind? Really? Hello, what about more real life daily scenarios like -

  • What if the ‘bai’ showed up on time for once?
  • What if for once the boss did not show up early, when you walked in late into the office?
  • What if your sleep was actually done by the time the morning alarm went off?
  • What if that bonus letter had one more zero?
  • What if the sister agreed with you for once?
  • What if the brother gave in for once?
  • What if the kido didn’t have an independent opinion for once?
  • What if the husband was more compassionate for once?
  • What if the wife listened without interrupting, and maybe needed fewer pairs of shoes for once?


The list could be endless potentially and yes all of us would love all of this. But what if you were allowed just one edit? THAT ONE SINGLE EDIT. Then all the clocks and bosses and nagging habits would do the Rahul Gandhi act. As in, the vanishing act. And you’d focus on that one life-changing event.   

While you work on that one (it shall take a while), let me quickly finish my saga. Life-changing events, daily dramas, nothing can really beat my feelings right now. Feelings of wanna punching someone in the face! Why? Desperation out of frustration! The two desired edits which brought this topic to my mind in the first place.

One, I would conduct maid interviews again. I’ve spent a good 1.5 years trying to teach my Indonesian live-in maid colloquial English. But whatever I do, for her to understand the head or tail of it, I’ve got to slaughter the English language day in and day out. It’s a biggie, more so when you have to turn around and correct your toddler each time, who wastes no time in grasping every word! The words ’is’ and ‘am’ for instance don’t exist in this Indinglish. And the answer to ‘why haven’t you done this’ is always ‘not yet’. Aaargh!

Second, I would pick another house. You have criteria, and more refined criteria. This check, that check. And you rejoice when you feel that you’ve found your dream home at last. To be shaken out of your reverie one day with the incessant drilling noise from upstairs. A modern-day fully equipped condo, with a great neighborhood and conveniences, nothing matters my friends. The deafening sounds are a deal breaker. One more point for my checklist the next time around. Checking if the neighbors are gonna take up renovation anytime soon!




PS. What would your edits be like? Saas-bahu kind of daily dramas or life-changing events, ala reuniting with college music band, ‘Rock On’ style?




28 comments:

Sumeet Nayak said...

Not sure if i want to change anything. Good or bad whatever is done, is past and is influencing my present and my future. Rather than changing the past better be prepared to face the situation ahead. But i would surely rewind and play without editing my past if i were to get a chance to know and understand why i took the decision (whichever it was) at that point of time and probably smile or laugh over it.

Vishal Bheeroo said...

Hey, that's an awesome post. My super power would've been..ahem ahem I'm thinking..travelling the world of free and do a Harry Potter on my enemies and teach criminals a lesson or two as well as rake the moolah:)

Unknown said...

Thats an interesting take Sumeet :)

Unknown said...

Haha Vishal, good one :)

Jamshed Azmi said...

that's an awesome post. Thanks for this post.

Indrani said...

I am content with life but still if you insist: I wish I had spent more time talking to my mom. Never thought he would quit the world so early in life.

Jyoti Dehliwal said...

लीना जी, भूतकाल को एडिट करने का मौका मिला भी तो.....खैर भूतकाल में मैंने जो भी किया वो समय परिस्थिति के हिसाब से सब सही था। हाँ, समय ने मेरे साथ जो किया उसको तो एडिट नहीं कर सकते न । बढ़िया लेख....

sujata sengupta said...

Thats an easy one - I would not have married. Not because the husband is not nice, then I would want to edit him, but just that I thing marriage brings out the worst in two people and puts them face to face to see every single day. You lose the woman you were and the man he was, end up becoming people you are not very fond of.

Teny said...

I wish I was confident enough to make those edits; I am afraid that the edits are going to make everything worse in the end :D

Unknown said...

The pleasure is mine Jamshed! Thanks for stopping by :)

Unknown said...

I know exactly how you feel Indrani. If I get down to serious edits, I would've a few as well, including bringing back my dad. I have avoided going down that road on purpose.

Unknown said...

Thank you Jyoti ji. Aapka najariya bhi kaafi dilchasp hai.

Unknown said...

Sujata dear, what an interesting take on the subject. Yes marriage brings out shades of us we didn't even know existed. I guess the trick is to treat every single day as a new day ;-)

Unknown said...

Haha Teny buddy,thats a fear each one of us has :)

Traditionallymodernfood said...

Grt post..beautifully written

Tomichan Matheikal said...

I wish I could change my birth itself. Nonexistence. Existence is sorrow, as the Buddha said.

Unknown said...

Thanks Vidya!

Unknown said...

Thats such a profound thought, beyond my reach. Thanks for stopping by.

Unknown said...

I would like to relive my younger days with the kind of wisdom I have acquired so far. Since that's not possible, only thing I can do is to make good use of it in future. :-) Btw I used to be a hardcore SRK fan during the fauji to DDLJ days. Lost interest completely after Raavan.

Unknown said...

If only Somali! I wish we could use our maturity and experiences to go back in the past and make edits..hehe
And btw same pinch, on the SRK phase :)

Parul said...

Fun post! Those real life edits were so funny to read - what if the bai came on time? :P What if your hike was twice a year and 50% every time? What if the boss was always singing your praise? :P

Unknown said...

Haha, yep, if wishes were horses Parul dear :)

shraddha singh said...

hahaha......lovely post.....something so offbeat.......cool thing it is to rewind and replay....but then it will be a whole mess( lols)
bcz everybdy will try turning things accordng to him or her amd we all will keep fighting and waste our superpower...... :)) ....

Unknown said...

Hehe. I love your take on the subject Shraddha! Loads of fun :)

Unknown said...

My list will be to big Leena but still some imp things wud be not quitting my job n expressing my feelings of anger to my MIL..or say NO to people and not do things against my wish just to make others happy...

Unknown said...

Learning to say No is such a big thing isn't it, difficult for many of us! And expressing to MiL, good luck to all of us with that ;-)

Namrata Kumari said...

A lot of things I wish to rewind and edit, which certainly means that I have done several things which I never wanted to do and a lot of things which I regret not doing. I know this is something impossible. So, today I want just one thing and that is to be able to sleep in peace making the full use of my time and opportunities that I get. :)

Unknown said...

Haha, good one Namrata! Hope you had a peaceful sleep and here's to many more such serene nights :)