Rewind, Edit & Play!

Have you ever given this a thought? What if you had this unbelievable super-power, the option of rewinding your life and editing one unwanted portion?

I see many female hands going up in unison. The demand being SRK. Yes SRK has changed the way romance is perceived and love is defined. And yes, ‘Dilwale’s’ snippets have refreshed memories. I’ve come across so many statuses lately, of females drooling over SRK and how he’s killed romance for them forever. Reason - nothing can come close to DDLJ and KKHH. Agreed. But it’s the Rahuls and the Rajs we all are in love with dearies. In real life, we need to check with Gauri Khan if it’s really worth it.

Of course men are no different. Blame Sunny Leone and all the unwanted clips and videos that are shut down when the wife or girlfriend walks in. Come on guys, its always a package deal you know. She’s not going to do your laundry and make you breakfast (or say, help you do it). Take care of her in-laws and children? Nah!

Lets get real. Don’t make faces. I know the very idea of rewind and edit wouldn’t fit the category of real, but just IMAGINE. What would life have been like –

• If you had cracked that CAT or IITJEE or CET or CA et al?
• Or you would’ve nailed that coveted job interview, and lived the dream?
• Or even better, if you would’ve taken a gamble and pursued that offbeat awesome profession which you’ve shut your eyes and ears to?
• Say, boys, what if that girl had accepted your rose, when the background score of ‘lalala,lala’ was ringing loud in your ears?
• What if that one girl had actually turned around and given you that killer smile when your heart was shrieking ‘palat, palat’?
• And girls, what if that boy for whom the heart had done ‘dhakdhak’ had actually given you a second look?

Is that all that could come to your mind? Really? Hello, what about more real life daily scenarios like -

• What if the ‘bai’ showed up on time for once?
• What if for once the boss did not show up early, when you walked in late into the office?
• What if your sleep was actually done by the time the morning alarm went off?
• What if that bonus letter had one more zero?
• What if the sister agreed with you for once?
• What if the brother gave in for once?
• What if the kido didn’t have an independent opinion for once?
• What if the husband was more compassionate for once?
• What if the wife listened without interrupting, and maybe needed fewer pairs of shoes for once?

The list could be endless potentially and yes all of us would love all of this. But what if you were allowed just one edit? THAT ONE SINGLE EDIT. Then all the clocks and bosses and nagging habits would do the Rahul Gandhi act. As in, the vanishing act. And you’d focus on that one life-changing event.   

While you work on that one (it shall take a while), let me quickly finish my saga. Life-changing events, daily dramas, nothing can really beat my feelings right now. Feelings of wanna punching someone in the face! Why? Desperation out of frustration! The two desired edits which brought this topic to my mind in the first place.

One, I would conduct maid interviews again. I’ve spent a good 1.5 years trying to teach my Indonesian live-in maid colloquial English. But whatever I do, for her to understand the head or tail of it, I’ve got to slaughter the English language day in and day out. It’s a biggie, more so when you have to turn around and correct your toddler each time, who wastes no time in grasping every word! The words ’is’ and ‘am’ for instance don’t exist in this Indinglish. And the answer to ‘why haven’t you done this’ is always ‘not yet’. Aaargh!

Second, I would pick another house. You have criteria, and more refined criteria. This check, that check. And you rejoice when you feel that you’ve found your dream home at last. To be shaken out of your reverie one day with the incessant drilling noise from upstairs. A modern-day fully equipped condo, with a great neighborhood and conveniences, nothing matters my friends. The deafening sounds are a deal breaker. One more point for my checklist the next time around. Checking if the neighbors are gonna take up renovation anytime soon!

PS. What would your edits be like? Saas-bahu kind of daily dramas or life-changing events, ala reuniting with college music band, ‘Rock On’ style?